Last night, before I went to bed I listened to a sermon online from a former pastor of mine. It was one of my favorites that he preached. One of those that was a real-deal life changer for me. I remember the exact place I was sitting when I originally heard it and I remember the conversation I had with Kyle on the way home from church on that Sunday in September. And every time since that sermon that I have heard mention or come across this passage of scripture, I remember that sermon.
The sermon was on Exodus 33 & 34 and I’ll sum up the life changing part for you in two points:
– As God’s people, do we love God or do we love God’s stuff (goodness, love, peace, security, etc…)?
– After spending time in the presence of God we are physically changed.
Four months after that sermon was preached, I found myself in the middle of a deafening season of loss. There was literally one loss stacked on top of another. And right in the middle of that heavy stack was one of the most tender losses I have yet to experience.
Four years ago today, I lost my Grandmother.
And as I sat in my chair this morning reading a post my dad had written on the day she died, I felt a nagging choice rising up in my heart.
Hope or Despair? Hope or Despair? Hope or Despair?
…..more people are going to die.
Hope or Despair?
……that’s my future: more loss.
Hope or Despair?
……There is no escaping it. More people will die.
Hope or Despair?!
….It’s inevitable. Death.
Hope or Despair?!
Lord. Help.
DO YOU LOVE ME OR DO YOU LOVE MY STUFF?
I love YOU, Lord. I choose you.
Hope.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed. His compassions are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I will say to myself, “THE LORD IS MY PORTION“, therefore I will wait for Him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (emphasis mine).
Hope my face is shiny today. I bet my Grandmother’s is.
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