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Loss And Hope And Shiny Faces

Last night, before I went to bed I listened to a sermon online from a former pastor of mine. It was one of my favorites that he preached. One of those that was a real-deal life changer for me. I remember the exact place I was sitting when I originally heard it and I remember the conversation I had with Kyle on the way home from church on that Sunday in September. And every time since that sermon that I have heard mention or come across this passage of scripture, I remember that sermon.
The sermon was on Exodus 33 & 34 and I’ll sum up the life changing part for you in two points:
– As God’s people, do we love God or do we love God’s stuff (goodness, love, peace, security, etc…)?
– After spending time in the presence of God we are physically changed.
Four months after that sermon was preached, I found myself in the middle of a deafening season of loss. There was literally one loss stacked on top of another. And right in the middle of that heavy stack was one of the most tender losses I have yet to experience.
Four years ago today, I lost my Grandmother.
And as I sat in my chair this morning reading a post my dad had written on the day she died, I felt a nagging choice rising up in my heart.
Hope or Despair? Hope or Despair? Hope or Despair?
…..more people are going to die.
Hope or Despair?
……that’s my future: more loss.
Hope or Despair?
……There is no escaping it. More people will die.
Hope or Despair?!
….It’s inevitable. Death.
Hope or Despair?!

Lord. Help.


I love YOU, Lord. I choose you. 
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed. His compassions are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I will say to myself, “THE LORD IS MY PORTION“, therefore I will wait for Him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (emphasis mine).
Hope my face is shiny today. I bet my Grandmother’s is.

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