**As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases**

Not For The Faint Of Heart

When Laura Kate was about a month old, I had just made it past the post-partum baby blues, we were settling into a good newborn routine. While Kyle was at work one day, I was laying on the floor with LK on her play mat and I just remember looking at her and knowing deep down - as far deep down as you can know something - "I was made for this". Just like I knew deep down that I was made to be Kyle's wife, I knew that I knew that God made me to be Laura Kate's mom.

That moment I truly believe was from the Lord. It was a foundational cornerstone for my mothering. I can't tell you how many times I have come back to it. Millions. Because the mothering thing? It is not for the faint of heart. If it was, I would have been dead a long time ago.

When Laura Kate was three, I fully understood the term "threenager". The fits, the whining, the strong will. The Shenanigans. Yall, how any of us survived it is only because of the Lord Jesus himself and because he has bigger plans than all of us. I just remember it being SO HARD.

I remember parents of older kids telling me this: "The younger years are more physically draining, but the older years are more mentally and emotionally draining." And while I now understand that a little bit better in theory now, it was SO discouraging at the time because there were days that I felt drained in every way. It made me feel weak for feeling drained mentally and physically with my three year old. Imagine what would happen to me when she was a teenager! 

Mama of the threenager reading this (or the terrible two year old, or the whiny four year old or tattling 5 year old.....) READ THIS: It's so hard. All of it. Is is also the best thing in the world? Yeah it is, but there are other posts to be written about that. This post is about it being hard, because someone needs to just outright say it. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. 

I wanted to write this post because this past week was hard with my almost ten year old. Maybe the hardest yet. On Tuesday, I woke up and felt prompted to love my girl in a very tangible way so I spent most of the day cleaning her room for her and redecorating it. About midway through, I got a phone call from the school letting us know their school was on lockdown (super precautionary thing....everyone was fine). And then about three quarters of the way through the cleaning, Kyle forwarded an email from LK's teacher revealing some major character struggles our girl is going through. The whole day I spent praying (and crying) through my broken heart of her bad choices. 

And I felt that deep down feeling again.... 
"You were made for this."

That sweet truth washed over me like a tidal wave and I remembered playing on the floor with that that tiny baby. I remembered the threenager. I remembered it all. Because the truth is, it's hard BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. 
Shepherding a child's heart is hard because our hearts are wrapped around theirs! So while the Lord is working on their little growing hearts, he's working on our tired and weary hearts too. 

It's hard yall. This isn't a solution post, rather than a permission post. Permission for it to be hard, no matter the stage. And permission for your heart to be worked on too. 

1 comment

  1. I so love you honest and oh, so real thoughts here, Carrie. No, motherhood is definitely not for the faint of heart. I do hope this inspires other moms who may be struggling.
    Loved the photos, too!