Have you ever seen one of those scenes in a war movie where the village warriors come back from battle beating their chests, chanting in victory? And the people come out from their tents and houses to see what all the commotion is about, and the village princess comes out to celebrate with the warriors and their victory?
Well, this was kind of the scene in my kid’s bathroom that night. Except the victory wasn’t an amazing war won, and my little princess certainly wasn’t celebrating. Kyle had just left that morning out of the country; I was 8 months pregnant with Archer and I was very much looking forward to getting the three kids in bed so I could have a break. I had slipped out of the bathroom to grab clean towels from the laundry room, when I started to hear an absolute uproar in the bathroom. The scene I got back to was not the scene I left. Both boys, Shepherd (3), and Fischer (2), were standing in the bathtub beating their chests, arms wilding waving about, chanting and hooting and hollering with GREAT delight and hilarity …. Water was EVERYWHERE. The look of victory shone on their faces. Their victory? Shepherd had pooped in the bathtub. In the middle of all of this, the princess herself – 6 at the time - decided to make her appearance in all her sparkly pajama-ed glory, and let me just tell you, she was NOT celebrating the victory. The look on her face said it all…. She was completely undone. I was using HER precious princess towels, and she would never be ok again. Gosh, I was so tired when I went to bed that night. The physical needs of that day were overwhelming. But I cleaned up the mess, tucked them all three warriors into bed, and did it because I loved those babies, and I loved my husband.
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you
I was walking into Target to pick up prescriptions for Shepherd’s second ear infection in a month when my phone finally rang. It was Kyle calling with news. He had just finished his sixth round of interviews with a prominent church in the Dallas area for the Groups Pastor position that we thought God was calling us to. As I pushed the cart with one hand through the automatic doors into the store and answered the phone with the other, I could tell from the way he said “hey” that it didn’t go well. “I don’t think it’s going to happen,” he said. And it didn’t. God knew, but we didn’t. And the man I loved was discouraged. As was I. I didn’t understand why they didn’t see the value in this man I loved so much.
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you.
“Can I talk to you about something?” Fischer asked me after school one day. “Sure buddy, come on in,” I told him. He came into my room and it took him a solid three minutes to get the words out as unshed tears clogged his words. He finally told me that someone he once thought was a friend was bullying him at school. He’d asked him to stop nicely. Over and over. He’d flat out told him to stop. And the kid just wouldn’t stop. Everywhere he turned, this kid was there saying awful things to him. He didn’t know what to do about it. He asked if I could I step in and help.
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you.
I was in the middle of a Kids Ministry team meeting when I got the text. “I’m in the bathroom at school. I’m just feeling so overwhelmed. I was cutting. Can you come get me?” I immediately stood up from the table and told my team “I have to go”. I ran into my office for my purse, closed the door and my eyes for the briefest of moments and prayers and responded to her text: “I’m on my way”.
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you.
I had just turned out the light and closed my eyes, Kyle had been asleep at least an hour before me. It was about 11:00. And I heard it, the familiar click of Archer’s door, the pitter patter of his little feet and I started counting and didn’t make it to 3 before the crying started. Another night terror. “Lord, when will he be released from this?” He stood in the doorway of our room literally screaming and as I scooped him up, Kyle, awake now, reminded me, “he’s not awake.” I know, I know. My baby is terrified, can’t wake up, is trapped in his mind. I KNOW. And Kyle would start to pray over him. “Lord protect his mind while he sleeps. Woo him to you.”
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you.
“I don’t know what to say to him,” Kyle told me as he came in from talking to Shepherd. We were both tired, at the end of another long day. “He says he doesn’t know why he feels like this, just that he feels so much, and he’s overwhelmed and anxious. He doesn’t know why, but he can’t stop thinking that he shouldn’t be alive. He wants to hurt himself”. I walked into his room and wrapped his man-sized body into my arms. I told him I was so sorry. That I loved him. That he was so loved and wanted. I tucked him into bed like I did when he was tiny. And as he cried himself to sleep I whispered how much I loved him and rubbed his back until he was fast asleep.
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you.
There’s a final scene in my mind when I think about my mighty warrior children. The oldest three had just finished a DNOW weekend and were stretched out on the row beside us, hands raised in the air, the look of victory shone on their faces and I could tell… they were different… their faces said it all. Archer was standing in between Kyle and I, it was 5th Sunday, so Elementary kids were in service with families that day. All of my kids were singing at the top of their voices proclaiming, “Oh come on my soul Oh, don't you get shy on me Lift up your song 'Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs Get up and praise the Lord!”.
I close my eyes. I soak it in. I see the picture of Jesus bleeding on the cross for me, for my marriage, for my precious babies… and these words wash over me. Over and over again…..
Love is a battlefield,
I’ll fight for you; I’ll fight for you.
on the good days and bad,
I’ll stand for you; I’ll stand for you.
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