Nobody Tells You About The Second Day Of School

…when everyone is cranky and tired from the emotional hype of the first day
…when 6 o’clock is a lot uglier to you than it was the day before
…when you can’t find the right hair clip, because you didn’t lay it out with her clothes the night before
…when you are almost TARDY (gasp) because the excitement of “walking to school” isn’t quite the same and a little someone drags her feet at a much slower pace
…when you get home from dropping her off and you cry because you realize you forgot to pack a plastic spoon with her applesauce and now she will have to ask her teacher for one from the cafeteria
…when you feel all out of sorts in your day because the schedules and routines you’ve just spent the last 5 years cultivating is now more scrambled that that morning’s eggs
…when you still miss her a lot in your daily routine
…when you go to pick her up and for 5 blissful minutes she tells you about her day and then completely melts down when you tell her you forgot to put her favorite stuffed animal in the stroller because you hurriedly woke her brothers up from their nap in order to make it to the school on time so she wouldn’t have to sit their for one minute and wonder where her mommy was
…and when she melts down when you get home because she was still so sad that she didn’t get macaroni in her lunch box….
…when at dinner you almost fall asleep face down in your dinner because you are so tired and she still has the energy for 5 more dances, songs, and meltdowns before dinner is over
BUT, No one also tells you about…
…how much more excited she is about her class because she already knows where things are
…how she already has homework but is eager to get home and work on it
…how much better she sleeps at night
…how the saddest thing that happened in her day was that she didn’t get to use the pink scissors
…how she gets to go to playground every day and “did you know that they have monkey bars??”
…how she got to go to art and meet her really amazing art teacher
…how her second day of school outfit was really just as cute at the first day
…and how the best feeling in the world is when she runs into your arms and says “the second day was EVEN BETTER than the first. I love school.”
Yeah, Nobody told me.

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Dear Kindergartener (LK)

Dear Kindergartener,
Well my sassy little one, the day has finally come. A day we’ve anticipated and feared and looked forward to and dreaded. It’s here.

As I dropped you off this morning, with tears rolling down my heart, I felt it again. The reminder, the whisper. The first lesson I ever learned as a mother. As you were kicking and fluttering in my tummy, I heard very clearly the lesson that would resonate in my heart and would be a lifelong parenting journey to fully understand:
“She’s not yours. She’s mine.”

I felt it again when I thought my heart would explode with joy when I held you for the first time and looked down at your beautiful long eyelashes.
“She’s not yours, she’s mine.”

And when you first went to Parents Day Out and I left you “all day” (9:00-2:00) and I thought about you every time I breathed, the Lord reminded me….
“She’s not yours, she’s mine.”

And when I was awake with you that first night you had a night terror and I thought my heart would literally split in two with feelings of complete helplessness, and I cried out to the Lord, His sweet, still, soft, convicting voice reminded me,
“She’s not yours. She’s mine.”

And when we first brought your brother home from the hospital and you leaned down and whispered, “Hi, brother” in his ear and planted the most tender kiss on his newborn cheeks and my heart was a puddle on the floor, that quiet whisper was there:
“She’s not yours, she’s mine.”

And that day when I woke up and the Lord burned so clearly on my heart the idea that you are to be a mighty warrior for Him. And it scared me. And I wanted to hug you tighter and protect you more. He stopped me still in my tracks with the quiet and firm directive,
“Mama. She’s not yours, she’s mine.”
You see, God gave you to me as a gift. One of my most precious gifts. He gave you to me to raise, and to point to Him, and give back to Him. And I think He gave you to me to teach me some things. To teach me to trust Him with my most precious gifts. To teach me to let go and walk by faith. To teach me to open my heart up completely to experience the FULLNESS of His heart: explosions, ripping, puddles and all.

So today, when I miss you, when I think about you sitting at your place at your table, and about you listening to the lady who will spend so much of her time teaching you so many new things….When I fear you being scared, and missing me, and what if no one wants to be your friend and you are lonely……When I get excited thinking about the friends you will make, the ways you will be a light for Jesus, how you already love your teacher, and all of the wonderful ways you are going to grow and learn and develop, I will remember my little one, that YES, you are a precious gift, but you are not mine. You belong to the gift-giver. And it may take my entire lifetime to learn, but I will let go and walk by faith.
And when that clock strikes 3:00 and you come running into my arms with strings of words telling me all about your day, my heart will explode and rip and puddle and again I will let go of you and remember that you are not mine, but His.

And on future days, when I’m tempted to hold you too tightly again, I will listen for that firm whisper. That sweet, soft voice reminding me, you’re not mine. You are HIS! And I will walk by faith and let go of you again.

You, my first born, precious gift, ARE HIS! And OH, how He takes delight in you.
Happy first day of Kindergarten, Sassy Pants! I can’t wait till 3:00!
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I Turned A Door Into A Table

I Turned A Door Into A Table

So one day last Spring, in my thinking place (the bathtub), I had the most brilliant idea! I wanted to make my own table out of a door. I had seen coffee tables made out of them but never a kitchen dining table. I got so excited and told the Steady about it. I was a little nervous because even though he does an awesome job at trying to be really excited about my projects, I know sometime he thinks I’m cray-cray. This time he was actually excited about it!
So I got on Pinterest and perused. It turns out I was NOT the first person to have this grand idea. (Check out these awesome tables here!)
After gathering ideas for several months and saving some birthday money we finally went shopping for a door and supplies.
We went to the Habitat for Humanity Re-store and found an awesome, sturdy door for $50. I bought pre-cut table legs at Lowes as well as really long sturdy screws and paint.
Now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I don’t alway do things the best way or the way it “should” be done. I honestly do a little online research, talk to some people (like the helpful guys at Lowes) and weigh my options against my time and money and then just jump in.
I didn’t do a good job of taking pictures along the way with each step, but I’ll tell you what I did.
1. I set the door on a saw horse as level as possible.
2. I marked on top of the door where I wanted my legs to be with little “x’s”.
3. I held each leg as Steady drilled THROUGH the door from the top down into each leg. (Each leg has two screws).
4. I puttied over the screw holes with wood putty.
5. I lightly sanded. LIGHTLY.
6. I painted the table a rough coat of white semi-gloss paint (the kind with primer mixed in). The door has the awesome texture to it that gives it a natural distressed look.
7. I coated it with a spray sealer.
8. I bought plexiglass to fit over the top. Eventually we hope to get a piece of glass cut, but this works well for now!
As for chairs, I wanted an eclectic look, so I gathered chairs from Craigslist, around my house, and my parent’s garage over several months. I chose different colors and fabrics for each chair to match my curtains. I sanded and used spray paint for the colors.
Here is the completed project:
One of my favorite things I have ever made! Whatchathink?

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Ask The Sasster: BBQ Sauce and Strawberries!

Have some questions? Send them to me either via comment, or FB, or email.

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