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Letters From the Not Amused

Dear Uterus,

Unless you are going to produce a baby, please stop contracting. Especially on my birthday. It only gets my hopes up and frustrates me. And it hurts.

Not Amused


Dear Christopher Peters,

It was understandable when I received your phone number when I first moved here, that there would be some people who still had your old number. I didn't mind informing them you no longer had that number. It was even somewhat understandable that you didn't inform your creditors of your new number. Again, I didn't mind asking to be taken off their call list. But four years later, I have to only assume that you are purposefully giving out MY phone number to credit collectors who still call me to this day, my birthday. Stop it.

Not Amused


  1. We should find the real Christopher Peters and call him. (Will the real Christopher Peters please stand up? Please stand up?)