Bold, Sassy Words


Today, I was once again trying to have the  "just in case" speech with the Sasster, the  "just-in-case, it's a brother" speech. This is how the conversation went:

After she felt the baby move (really neat experience. I don't think she ever felt Shepherd and this time she is the first person other than me to feel this baby move - even before Kyle!) she says:

"Mommy, I really want it to be a sister."

"Well, we will find out on Thursday! And we will love this baby and be so excited whether it is a boy or a girl."

"I just really think it is a sister and I will be the most excited!!"

"Well, who is the only one who gets to decide?"

"God is. But he has already decided it is going to be a girl."

Kyle asked her if she thought that because she just wanted a girl or if God had told her that. She replied, "God told me."

Since that conversation I have been walking a fine line in my parenting mind between encouraging her to hear from the Lord and prepping her with a "just-in-case you didn't really hear from the Lord" speech. As I have thought about it today, I am so convicted at my lack of living and speaking boldly for things I think the Lord speaks to me for fear of being "wrong". While I do think this is where heresy is sometimes birthed, I also think this is where good, safe Christians take a bath in luke-warm water.  I serve a God who speaks to His children through his word and in our hearts through prayer.

I once heard somewhere that "God will never punish you for mis-hearing Him." I think there is some truth to that. When you are wholeheartedly seeking him to the best of your ability, I think He finds so much delight in His children turning their ears and hearts to Him, waiting for even a whisper, and then walking and talking in obedience and boldness to what he he spoken. At the risk of being wrong. At the risk of being embarrassed.

Thankful today for a little girl who continually provides me with opportunities of sanctification, and who the Lord has blessed with a bold, sassy heart! And I'm thankful for the opportunity to learn from her today.

Faith like a WHAT?
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Cast Your Vote!


Next Thursday is the big day!!

We are so excited to find out if this little flutter is a girl or boy, a Phoebe or Phoebo, pink or blue....Hannah or Fischer.

As we all know, the Sasster is still pretty dead set on Hannah. Also championing the pink cause is the SBOAM.

Papa still leads the Fischer Team. Joining him are Grammy and Aunt Sassy.

(Read about the big prophesy showdown here at The Lifevesting blog).

If you want to know where I fall, I lean more towards the Sasster's prediction on most days. I generally refer to "her" as a "her" or "she". However this pregnancy is so different from my previous two that I have jokingly said that if there was a third gender, that's what this baby would be. I have thrown up twice - both in the second trimester. I feel like I am carrying low, which the old wives would call a boy. But I feel like the shape of my belly is more oblong watermelon that round basketball, which the wives would call a girl.

My mom asked me a few days ago if I would be disappointed if I was wrong and it was a boy. My answer was that I will never be disappointed about any baby - boy or girl. I am genuinely excited about the possibility of either and cannot wait to find out!

So what do you think?? Take my poll at the top of the sidebar and see what the majority think!!

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#3, Week 18

Dear Little #3 Bambino,

You have ears! (in theory at least). There is a good chance they are already bigger than your daddy's (kidding) (kind of). You are about the size of a baked potato (about 5 and half inches long).

Mommy: has not received the burst of energy she was hoping for when she stopped nursing moose. Apparently you are growing and growing and require more from me now. My belly did decide to pop out this week and I have been having some bouts of morning sickness. Yes, morning sickness in my second trimester. Thank you very much. We also sadly switched doctors this week and while we are so sad to not see our old doctor we are very excited about the new one, especially since he is so much closer than Dallas. 

Daddy: is getting really really excited about you. He keeps asking me if I'm excited (I am very much so). He is pretty set on you being a Hannah, so if you are a Fischer he will have some serious making up to do. This week he took me on a very fun Valentine's date and continues to ride the roller coaster of my crazy cravings. He loves us a lot - I can tell.

The Big Sasster: has had quite the week. She loved Valentine's so much that she thinks every day should be "Valentimes". She also has had quite a hard time obeying mommy this week. She is really into Robots these days and will randomly burst out in Robot Language. Never a dull moment - be prepared.

Moose of a Brother: is looooving his sippy cup and is quite content with it instead of nursing. I would be sad but I only get a 5 month break before I start nursing you. He loves to wave keys around in the air and loves to play with zippers. He has been talking more and said "mama" 4 times today and "daddy" once and something that sounded very close to "all done". I'm sure he will have several more words by the time you are here.

In two weeks we get to find out if you are a Hannah or a Fischer. We are so so so excited to know and start planning accordingly. We love you sooo much!

17 weeks

18 weeks

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Happy Valentimes

What fun "Valentimes" we have had.

I set up a very special breakfast for my family! Complete with balloons and cards and presents!

Earlier in the week LK and I made very fun Valentines for our favorite SBOAM.

We had heart shaped french toast (and a LOVEly PBJ for lunch with the leftover heart bread).

Sassy Pants loved drinking out of her special V-day glass (YAY for rockin the Dollar Store).

The kids really loved their special valentine's cards from their daddy!

Look how cute my little Valentine Babies Are!

And we got to go to the doctor to check up on #3 and hear her/his little heartbeat :). Very few sounds I enjoy more. 

(almost 18 weeks)

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Dear Laura Kate and Shepherd

Dear Laura Kate and Shepherd,

Listen to your mommy and head her advice:

It does not bode well to crawl under the chairs at the kitchen table. You get stuck every time because your heads are larger than the space between the cross bar and the floor. If I had a dollar for every time I unstuck you I might have enough to pay for your first week of college. But seeing as how no one is paying mommy to wiggle your little bodies out 50 times a day, and also seeing as how very soon I may be too large to crawl under the table and rescue your squaking, flailing, bodies, I would really appreciate it if you just didn't get stuck in the first place, mkay?

Your Second Favorite Person In The World
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These are a Few of my Random Things (A *Somewhat* Musical List)

1. I go through double the amount of toilet paper when I am pregnant.

2. Shepherd is still loving loving loving his "moose juice" (aka, whole milk in the sippy). The first time he drank milk out of the sippy he could not drink it fast enough. You should have heard the noises he made while drinking. Not to mention the happy dance he does when he finishes his cup.

3. Watching inspirational music performances/videos on youtube is quite addicting. I recommend starting with this one....

Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill singing "How Great Thou Art"
...prepare for chill bumps

4. I had to clean up a cat hairball today. I had the fleeting thought that maybe the cat needs a new home.

5. Don't tell SBOAM, he might think I'm serious.

6. I'm considering writing a letter to Cottonelle asking for coupons since they are our TP of choice and spending a good amount of resources on their brand. (Really yall, they are the softest/strongest/softest - especially love the vitamin e and aloe)

7.  I watched parts of the Grammys tonight for only the second time in my life. The last time I watched them Britney Spears was wearing a leotard that made her look naked. 

8. Remember Old School Britney, pre-criminal craaazy days?

awww....that was fun.

9. I just remembered the leotard was the MTV Music Awards, not the Grammy's. Maybe this was my first time to watch any part of the Grammys. 

10. For years I thought Jesse McCartney was related to Paul McCartney.

11. It's snowing!!

12. Speaking of Remembering....

"I Will Always Love You" is the best selling single by a female artist of all time.
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Dear Shepherd (11 Months)

Dear Shepherd,

What a fun month it has been! My favorite thing from the past month is getting to know so much more of your personality. You have really let it shine this month:
  • You are very mobile. Just very picky about how you move around. You "crawl" still just dragging yourself along but are very fast and very good at it. You also loooove to move around the house or outside patio in your walker. 
  • You weigh somewhere around 22 lbs. And are very very tall. Every time I look at you you get taller.
  • You are still wearing 12 month clothes and size 4 diapers.
  • You have started pulling up on furniture (as we speak your SBOAD is lowering your crib mattress so you don't plummet over it).
  • As of yesterday we stopped nursing. I was prepared for a big battle and there has actually been NO problem switching you to milk. You have learned to love anything cold to drink in your sippy and as soon as we let you try whole milk you cannot get enough. I am so thankful I was wrong. 
  • You are obsessed with zippers and buckles. You could sit and play with daddy's backpack for what seems like hours.
  • You also really like to wave things in the air: your lovey, socks, blankets, napkins, clothes, anything that waves. You will spin on your bottom in a circle around and around waving your item in the air.
  • You have definitely gotten more verbal. Singing, talking, yelling, cooing, and babbling and grunting. Oh and growling occasionally. 
  • You looove to eat chicken nuggets. They are your favorite. Any vegetable we want you to eat we have to dip in applesauce first. 
  • You also love to be outside. You will drag yourself to the window of the back door and peer out longingly. 
  • You have discovered the dog and cat and you talk to them, yell at them, hit them, and grab their fur. They are very good sports while we try to teach you to "love love" and "pat pat" instead of "grab grab".
  • You do not like to sit still long enough to read so the only times we can really read with you are when you are confined in your high chair during meals or snack or we read over you while you play and scurry around the room. 
  • You got the first (and hopefully last) really awful haircut. You will probably have a line on the side of your head for months. You also got your first "real" haircut at a barber shop with clippers and all. You loved it and were so fascinated with what the barber was doing.
  • Last week we went to Lubbock to meet your newest cousin Cason and play with Cohen and Grammy and Papa. You loved being held by your Papa and were completely fascinated by your Grammy's jewelry (we may have to talk about that in the future).
You are such a fun, happy boy and it is hard to believe you have been here almost a year! We love you very very much!

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Missing Her.....

I didn't expect it to hit on cue. The grief. The missing. At least not this early in the day.

"Why are you crying mama?" She asked.
"I'm sad today because I miss my Grandmother." I told her.
I showed her a picture of her and told her that she died two years ago and I miss her.
"It's ok mama!  We will see her again! We will! I know it!"

I think about how much she would have enjoyed Laura Kate right now. How much she would have laughed at Laura Kate's, well laurakateness.  I can almost hear my dad telling her stories about Laura Kate and it making her day. I think about planning to go to Alabama soon and her not being there to see my kids traipse down the pasture or cook the fish we catch in the pond. 

She never met Shepherd. Never had a chance to know about him when she was here. I think if she did know him she would tell me stories about how he was like my dad or not like him. If I told her about my amazing epidural at his birth I think she would tell me the story again about how she was completely knocked out by her anesthesia when my dad was born and when she woke up she had a baby. I think she would tell me that Shepherd favors me and maybe my brother a little bit. As I look at his profile right now, Shep reminds me of a picture of my dad when he was a baby. She might pull that out to show me. Maybe she just did. I think about how if I told her "I just had to let him cry today" she would probably tell me the story about how she was at her end with my dad one day and just laid him in his crib and walked outside for ten minutes and when she came back in, he was asleep. Wisdom to remember. 

I remember at the viewing how, standing before the casket, Aunt Deb came and put her arm around me and told me that she was just talking to her a few days before and how she told her how proud she was about the job I was doing as a mother. I come back to that on hard days with my kids. 

I love that Kyle had an instant connection with her. Love that he got to know her. Both stubborn and strong-willed. I remember waking up at the farm and walking in on the two of them in conversation at the table, coffee cups empty and ready for a refill. I remember thinking "Of course they would click and find conversation easily."

In Lubbock last week, my dad's phone rang beside me in the kitchen. I looked to see who it was and it said "Jim and Joanne Wood" but I only saw the "Joanne Wood". My thought process looked like this: Delight: "Grandmother is calling!". Sad  Remembering: "She can't be calling".  Longing: "I wish she was calling". Humor: "That would be kind of weird if she did call".

I find myself jealous of people who get to say good-bye.  I told Kyle last night that I wish I could just talk to her one more time. 

But what would I tell her? If I knew it would be the last time I talk to her what would I say?  

I would tell her how much I love her as many times as I could fit into the conversation. I would tell her about my kids. I would thank her for passing on her legacy of reading and ask her for a new book recommendation. I would ask her to tell me one more time the story about how she walked in the snow to school. I would tell her how much I love Jesus and was glad she did too. I would listen to anything she wanted to say to me and I would write it down so I wouldn't forget. I would say I love you one more time. And I would ask her for her macaroni and cheese recipe. And I would say good-bye. 

So today, I plan on putting on my Grandmother's apron and smelling it and pretending like it still smells like her. Baking cupcakes with her first great-grandchild, snuggling my boy and thinking about the ways he is like my dad and brother and me, and thanking Jesus for the legacy of a woman who knew him and loved him and knew me and loved me too. A lot. 

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#3, Week 16-17

 French fries. I love them. Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fries. That and caviar.  - Cameron Diaz

My little #3, I think Ms.  Diaz has great wisdom. At least when it comes to food. Other than the caviar part. Oh how I'm loving french fries right now.

At this time you are around 5 inches head to rump. Somewhere around the size of a small order of french fries from McDonalds. (Can't think about it for too long or I'll want some). Your little "bones" are becoming more like bones and less like soft cartilage. You have fingernails and toenails and you are starting to grow some baby fat!

Mommy: is hungry and always could go for some fried potatoes. Homemade are best, but I'm not picky. And if they have cheese or bacon on top and are dipped in ranch dressing all the better. Also, mommy has been very emotional lately. Thank you, hormones.

Daddy: is being a stable rock weathering my emotional ups and downs as usual. And going to get me french fries. (He got me wingstop tonight which makes me a very happy mama).

Sasster: has been extra sweet today giving me hugs and kisses. Also she was "nursing" her baby doll tonight, practicing being a good mommy. I think she is going to be a very good helper when you arrive!

Moosey Brother: doesn't know it yet but is counting down the days until he is no longer nursing. Thursday is the big day his life will never be the same. Mommy is looking forward to and dreading it all at the same time.

We got to meet your cousin Cason this past week when we went to Lubbock. We had a great time and your siblings very much enjoyed play with your other cousin Cohen. We are getting very excited to find out hopefully soon if you are a Fischer or a Hannah!! We already love you SO much!

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